CONTACTS
SUBJECTS
Kathleen and Bob
0403 -
0403 - ..
0404 - Summary/Objective
0405 -
040501 - Follow up ref SDS 46 0000, ref SDS 45 0000.
040502 -
040503 - We got delayed by traffic, and so arrived OA 1400; used directions in
040504 - record on 990107. ref SDS 5 1947 Everyone was there except Robby and
040505 - Eddie. Rob's letter on 991127 indicated he hoped to attend today, so
040506 - something must have come up. ref SDS 41 4122 Not sure what happened
040507 - to Ed. Sally and Mother Lillian, could not attend due to the distance
040508 - from their home in Oregon.
040509 -
040510 - [On 991201 Rob was sick and so could not attend. ref SDS 50 0001]
040512 - ..
040513 - Mother and Bob both looked very well. Bob's renewed interest in
040514 - biking has helped bring him back to us, after a close call with cancer
040515 - last year in January. ref SDS 7 0001 Or, perhaps the excitement of
040516 - getting a new computer, reported on 990524, has brought added vigor.
040517 - ref SDS 8 0001 They say "An apple a day keeps the doctor away."
040518 - Bob's Apple computer has done the trick for him. That's a new
040519 - application that would turn Bill Gates green with envy.
040520 - ..
040521 - Mother and Bob are leaving for home tomorrow; she has a doctor's
040522 - appointment on Monday or Tuesday. We joked that Mother should
040523 - consider giving her doctor a bonus for doing such a good job keeping
040524 - her in evident good health. While age brings infirmities, Mother
040525 - seems to defy the laws of nature. She sets a high standard of poise
040526 - and charm. Her children are very lucky to experience Mother's
040527 - determination to meet life's exigencies without qualm or quiver.
040528 - ..
040529 - Mother seemed to have a good discussion with Amy, following up
040530 - the visit related on 991109. ref SDS 34 0001 She sees her other
040531 - granddaughters, Patty and Jennifer, more often now, because they are
040532 - all living fairly close in Southern California. There are fewer
040533 - occasions for Mother to visit Amy, especially now with Amy starting a
040534 - new assignment, cited on 991103. ref SDS 18 0001
040535 -
040536 - [On 991129 Mother is hospitalized. ref SDS 47 0001]
040538 - ..
040539 - Mother and Aunt Barbara had a chance to visit again, following up
040540 - lunch a few weeks ago, from 991110. ref SDS 35 5376
040541 - ..
040542 - Installed the SDS record on Bob's medical experience the past
040543 - few weeks. The computer crashed several times, indicating problems
040544 - persist that were discussed with Kathleen on 991110. ref SDS 35 0972
040546 - ..
040547 - Visited with Joey, Paulette's bright young son, who is in the seventh
040548 - grade. He and his sister, Heather, were playing games on the
040549 - computer. Joey asked about how to access the Internet, but we did not
040550 - have time to work on this today. Patty may be able to help him after
040551 - the visit this afternoon.
040553 - ..
040554 - Patty asked about prognosis for the computer? Discussed possibility
040555 - that W98 register has been corrupted from not shutting the thing down
040556 - correctly, and not defragmenting, per telecon on 991110. ref SDS 35
040557 - 0972 Right now the system seems to be in similar condition to when
040558 - Bob brought it to San Francisco on 990801. ref SDS 11 0001 One
040559 - possible source of problems may be use of the system by different
040560 - people, who may be shutting the system down improperly. A number of
040561 - young people like to use games. Generally, they are better with
040562 - computers than adults, but sometimes they are impatient and impulsive.
040563 - This might be a source of improper shut downs that have caused current
040564 - problems. Finally got the system to boot consistently, and
040565 - defragmented the drives. May be necessary to install W98 again, or
040566 - may have to replace the CPU, as Bob proposed on 990815. ref SDS 12
040567 - 5877 Patty will fuss around with the computer a little more, and let
040568 - me know what she thinks.
040570 - ..
040571 - Jennifer will be visiting the City in a few weeks on a business trip,
040572 - on Filmore street, where her firm has a store or facility. She looked
040573 - very well, and seems to be making progress with her job. Her friend,
040574 - McKensie, was here today, whom we met at Stephanie's memorial last
040575 - January. ref SDS 6 6300
040576 -
040577 - [On 991130 Mother recalled Jennifer's outfit on Thanksgiving.
040578 - ref SDS 48 3213]
040580 - ..
040581 - Kathleen and Amy's trip to San Francisco a few years ago became more
040582 - of an adventure than they were seeking. When time came to leave they
040583 - wound up back in China Town, going in circles, and driving the wrong
040584 - way on one way streets. Norm recalled his time working in San
040585 - Francisco, and that driving can be more exciting than people bargain
040586 - for.
040588 - ..
040589 - Kathleen looked well today, under the circumstances. I was admiring
040590 - her paintings hung on the wall in the living room, and surrounding a
040591 - picture of Steph, when she was about 20, and a real beauty. Kath
040592 - plans on giving one of her paintings to Rita.
040594 - ..
040595 - Kath introduced their gracious and kindly neighbors who have done so
040596 - much to help during the past few weeks.
040598 - ..
040599 - Bob Welch related a trip to Lake Tahoe that he and 4 or 5 of the guys
040600 - started yesterday, but had to turn back due to an automobile accident.
040601 - Fortunately, no one was seriously injured. A rented car was damaged;
040602 - and of course there will be a lot of "paperwork" to sort through in
040603 - the weeks ahead.
040605 - ..
040606 - Kathy Welch's minister presided for Bob's memorial service, ending
040607 - with everyone holding hands and reciting the Lord's prayer. It was
040608 - mentioned that Bob had requested this, or perhaps it was Kathleen. For
040609 - all, this special bond was very moving moment.
040611 - ..
040612 - The Minister noted that Bob is gone from our presence, but not from
040613 - our thoughts.
040615 - ..
040616 - Kathleen, I am sure with Rita's help, perhaps Patty and Paulette also
040617 - contributed, developed a theme for the memorial to fit Bob's passion.
040619 - ..
040620 - The memorial cards have a bucolic setting and the title....
040621 -
040622 -
040623 - G o n e F i s h i n g
040624 -
040626 - ..
040627 - Kathleen and Patty shared memories of Bob.
040629 - ..
040630 - One time they all went fishing on Pugent Sound, near where they lived
040631 - in Washington. Patty and Kathleen rowed the boat, while Bob tended
040632 - several fishing lines. Being new to rowing, they started going in
040633 - circles. Today, they remembered this episode with fondness, relating
040634 - Bob's frustration trying to instruct in rowing, while also seeing to
040635 - the fishing lines. Evidently, they learned well. Kathleen said they
040636 - always had plenty of fresh fish during their time in Washington.
040638 - ..
040639 - Patty explained the continuing presence of her Dad in her life,
040640 - through memories of childhood, transitioning into a young adult, and
040641 - now a full citizen of the world. Kathleen related Bob's joy at
040642 - Patty's wedding to Pablito this past year. She recalled parallels with
040643 - our own Dad who experienced the pride of every father giving his
040644 - daughter in marriage, when Sally and Mike married in 1978 or 1979.
040646 - ..
040647 - Paulette and her husband, Mike, related the joy of having her father
040648 - in their lives the past 8 years or so, after a prolonged absence as
040649 - sometimes occurs in travels, travails and triumphs of life. Paulette's
040650 - son, Joey, who is quite a budding computer expert, recalled fishing
040651 - with his grandfather. We enjoyed meeting Bob's granddaughter, Joey's
040652 - sister, Heather. Driving home, Millie remarked about Heather's
040653 - sparkle, maturity and engaging personality, holding her own in adult
040654 - conversation.
040656 - ..
040657 - Paulette was comforted by Kathleen's continued support. Bob's efforts
040658 - to reach out and renew family ties in recent years, sets a path for
040659 - broadening the care and nurture of extended family.
040661 - ..
040662 - Bob was very proud of his daughters. Paulette and her husband have
040663 - made a home and reared a family that promises a brighter future. On
040664 - 991108, before passing away so suddenly, Bob mentioned how much he
040665 - loved Kathleen, and how much he enjoyed Patty's growth into womanhood
040666 - and now a wife, with her husband, Pablito. ref SDS 28 1920
040668 - ..
040669 - Pablito was the mainstay today, keeping the food and beverages
040670 - flowing, while we visited and mourned with Kathleen, Patty and
040671 - Paulette the day's sad occasion. He and Patty both look very
040672 - healthy, a tribute to continued dedication to those early morning
040673 - workouts Patty has described.
040675 - ..
040676 - Everyone remembered Bob's strong personality and big heart. He was
040677 - forceful, generous and kind to everyone. A forceful personality
040678 - impacts people in different ways. Occasions arise when feelings blow
040679 - a chill wind, as well as warmth. Today, on balance we are all warmed
040680 - by fond memories of Bob, and the hope that good times and great deeds
040681 - yet await in the widening wake of Bob's life.
040683 - ..
040684 - Bob Raley recalled golfing excursions where Bob was competitive, and
040685 - always a gentleman on the course, mindful of life's context.
040686 - ..
040687 - Bob was always very helpful with "people skills" discussed on
040688 - 990815, ref SDS 12 1350, and managing arcane car maintenance issues
040689 - from discussion on 990525. ref SDS 9 0001
040691 - ..
040692 - Kathleen and Bob's family friend, Carol, arrived late, but in time for
040693 - her son to tell of adventures and good times with Bob.
040695 - ..
040696 - Kathy recalled the many family events over the years that Bob and
040697 - Kathleen hosted. Bob provided a center of gravity and infectious
040698 - gregariousness that drew people to him. Kathy and Amy have been there
040699 - for, and with, Bob and Kathleen in a manner that others of us have not
040700 - been so privileged to enjoy. Such a rich history builds ties that
040701 - bind all of us today and forever.
040703 - ..
040704 - Bob Welch related excursions to Lake Tahoe with Bob, and his
040705 - willingness to offer spontaneous and pronounced guidance to other
040706 - drivers on the road. Everyone said amen.
040708 - ..
040709 - Bob's lifelong friend, Chuck, who traveled from Washington to join the
040710 - memorial today, related a story of a trip he and Bob took one year to
040711 - Lake Tahoe. They had a flat tire. Chuck changed the tire, and after
040712 - starting out again, they immediately had another flat. However, it
040713 - turned out that somehow, after removing the flat, Chuck had
040714 - reinstalled it rather than the spare.
040716 - ..
040717 - Candy and Larry could not attend today. Candy sent a beautiful card
040718 - with a note relating how Thanksgiving now has deeper meaning because
040719 - her Dad, our Uncle Pat, died on that occasion in 1992. ref SDS 1 0001
040720 - and, ref SDS 2 5920 We visited with Candy and Larry, and their
040721 - children, who are now adults, at the reunion on 990612. ref SDS 10
040722 - 5098
040724 - ..
040725 - Visited briefly with Kathy and Amy. Discussed Amy's her new job.
040727 - ..
040728 - Kathy commented how fortunate we all are that Judy and Norman brought
040729 - everyone together this past June in a family reunion. ref SDS 10 0001
040730 - Many of us were brought together today for Bob's memorial; the reunion
040731 - extended the commitment to family, and offers an example to the
040732 - younger generation to build strength through family.
040734 - ..
040735 - Amy related having volunteered recently at work to take notes for a
040736 - meeting. Later, attendees wanted to re-write Amy's account of history
040737 - to present a more positive tone. Amy found that it takes a long time
040738 - to prepare a useful record, and that "truth" casts a light that
040739 - challenges cordial relations by alerting people to meaning,
040740 - correlations and implications that may not have been intended, nor
040741 - recognized. The legend of Prometheus exemplifies the high price paid
040742 - by those who bring the light of knowledge, reviewed in 991108,
040743 - ref SDS 29 5810, which is exceeded only by the cost of ignorance,
040744 - noted by Aristotle in 400 BC. ref OF 1 6056 Amy recalled an occasion
040745 - when the boss prepared notes and was weeks late making distribution;
040746 - however, no one complained. Leadership can veer from policy, and is
040747 - often blinded by hierarchy that reduces feedback due to fear of
040748 - reprisal. ref OF 1 2670 This gives significant meaning to the game
040749 - "Truth or Consequences," originally noted by Aristotle.
040750 -
040751 - [On 991130 example of emotional trauma from correcting the record.
040752 - in medical practice. ref SDS 49 2703]
040754 - ..
040755 - Colleagues proposed solving the "dilemma of the ages" simply by not
040756 - volunteering, which is the first thing one hears upon entering the
040757 - military. Another idea is to present a constructive record that shows
040758 - alignment with objectives so that people have an opportunity to adjust
040759 - course, as discussed on 961017. ref SDS 3 5832 Amy has a lot of time
040760 - and talent to develop effective "communication skills," reviewed
040761 - recently in connection with Greek mythology. ref SDS 29 5810
040763 - ..
040764 - Uncle Jim recalled the virtues of rural education in his youth, where
040765 - the three Rs were presented with seemingly greater success, at this
040766 - remove, than occurs today, despite modern convenience, new fangled
040767 - technology, and national testing. He chided "new math," reflecting
040768 - recent humor on this subject, see 990923. ref SDS 13 0001
040770 - ..
040771 - It was a pleasure to visit with Jimmy again. He looks well, and seems
040772 - to be flourishing in his new career being a leader for young people
040773 - through his job in education, after service to his country as an
040774 - Air Force pilot.
040775 -
040776 - [On 991130 Mother enjoyed visiting with Jimmy. ref SDS 48 2880]
040778 - ..
040779 - Judy and Norman are well. Norm was pleased by Kathy's compliment
040780 - about the family reunion he and Judy hosted this past June, on 990612.
040781 - ref SDS 0 4232 Judy has cataract surgery coming up. Aunt Barbara
040782 - explained the success she has had with similar surgery. Uncle Jim
040783 - feels the doctor may have given her one of those $6 million eyes
040784 - popularized a few years in a television program. He is threatening
040785 - not to pay for Aunt Barbara's added sight that now seems to point out
040786 - a lot of extra dusting and other chores needed around the house.
040788 - ..
040789 - Judy asked about Kathleen's plans? The weeks ahead, will be a time
040790 - for sorting out Kath's future. She feels very fortunate to have
040791 - Rita's support dealing with legal and medical matters remaining from
040792 - Bob having departed on has last "Fishing Trip." Patty and Pablito,
040793 - Mother and Bob and all of the family will assist in transitioning to a
040794 - new life. A big issue is how she can apply her significant energy and
040795 - gifts in a way that is satisfying and productive. Judy remarked about
040796 - complicated issues that arise, and that require continued family
040797 - engagement.
040798 -
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040800 -
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040803 -
040804 -
040805 -
0409 -