Welch Company
San Francisco, CA


S U M M A R Y


DIARY: November 14, 2010 09:42 AM Sunday; Rod Welch

Ron Useldinger letter to family on care for Ron and Donna.

1...Summary/Objective


..............
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CONTACTS 

SUBJECTS
Family Dispute Living Arrangements Compensation Payment Providing As

0703 -
0703 -    ..
0704 - Summary/Objective
0705 -
070501 - Follow up ref SDS 1 0000.
070502 -
070503 -
070504 -
070505 -
070506 -
070508 -  ..
0706 -
0707 -
0708 - Progress
0709 -
070901 - Received a letter from Kevin today saying...
070902 -
070903 -    1.  Subject:  Ron's Care - Proposal
070904 -        Date: Sat, 13 Nov 2010 07:35:01 -0800
070913 -         ..
070914 -    3.  I'm passing on this to my Dad's good friends to review (see
070915 -        Attachments above). It's simply a "proposal" to get fair pay in
070916 -        caring for Ron.  If you can give it a read, it will explain
070917 -        where things are at with our situation as Ron's Caregivers.  It
070918 -        is addressed to my siblings, but mainly Krista (as she holds
070919 -        the Power-of-Attorney) for Ron's Trust/Estate. She has all the
070920 -        power and Ron's trust attorney at her disposal (not his).
070921 -        Mainly, please read the "attachment". The e-mails below are the
070922 -        communication between Krista and myself (with Rob's comment at
070923 -        the end).
070925 -         ..
070926 -    4.  Please let me know if you have any opinion on this. I know you
070927 -        guys care a lot about him would want what's best for him...
070928 -
070929 -            [...below submitted respnose to Kevin with copies to family
070930 -            member, and to Rob and Richard. ref SDS 0 EJ5X
070932 -         ..
070933 -    5.  Thanks much,
070934 -
070939 -         ..
070940 -    7.  PS. I have been corresponding with Rob (as you can tell by his
070941 -        email) through this process.
070942 -
070943 -
070944 - *******************************
070946 -  ..
070947 - Letter from Kevin to his sister, Krista....
070948 -
070949 -    1.  Subject: Dad's Care - Proposal
070950 -        Sent: Wed, Nov 10, 2010 2:33 pm
070958 -         ..
070959 -    2.  I have attached a word document (see Attachments above) for you
070960 -        to review...  It is not something that was done in haste or
070961 -        hurt, but after much thought and prayer.  I've also consulted
070962 -        with a few of Dad's closest friends regarding this
070963 -        dilemma/situation.
070964 -
070967 -
070968 -
070969 - ***************************
070971 -  ..
070972 - Letter from Krista to Kevin...
070973 -
070974 -    1.  Subject: Re: Dad's Care - Proposal
070975 -        Sent: Wednesday, November 10, 2010 6:17 PM
070982 -         ..
070983 -    2.  Regarding your new proposal for Dad; I need all the
070984 -        documentation that Robert Hultzen asked for as my previous
070985 -        email stated.  Once I receive that, we can then address your
070986 -        new proposal.  Financial decisions can not be made without this
070987 -        information.
070989 -         ..
070990 -    3.  Thank You,
070991 -
070994 -
070995 -
070996 - ***********************
070998 -   ..
070999 -  Letter from Kevin to Rob, but reads he is forwarding a letter he sent
071000 -  to Krista to Rob...
071001 -
071002 -    1.  Subject: Fwd: Ron's Care - Proposal
071003 -        Sent: Thursday, November 11, 2010 12:47 PM
071010 -         ..
071011 -    2.  I've spoken to Bob Hultzen (Dad's trust attorney) and I know
071012 -        exactly what he needs for you to take over Dad's finances.
071013 -        Don't confuse the issue... Hultzen has nothing to do with
071014 -        making a decision on what's best for Dad in terms of his care.
071015 -        You hold the Power-of-Attorney and you are obligated to make
071016 -        the decision here that serves Dad's best interest.
071018 -         ..
071019 -    3.  I need a decision from you, at the latest by Friday night
071020 -        (November 12, 2010).  If you refuse, my proposal is off the
071021 -        table and Susan and I are out regardless...
071022 -
071025 -
071026 -
071027 - *******************************
071029 -  ..
071030 - Letter from Krista to her brother, Kevin...
071031 -
071032 -    1.  Subject: Re: Dad's Care - Proposal
071033 -        Sent: Thursday, November 11, 2010 3:55 PM
071037 -         ..
071038 -    2.  Meeting at my house at 8:30 tonight after I get off work.
071040 -         ..
071041 -    3.  Bring all credit cards, credit card statements, checkbooks,
071042 -        bank statements, balance sheet and anything else that was on
071043 -        that previous email.
071045 -         ..
071046 -    4.  This is my 5th request and you have refused to turn over these
071047 -        documents and not given over finances but continue to control
071048 -        all Dad's funds with no accountability to Kurt or I.  Then you
071049 -        want me to blindly make a decision and I have no idea what's
071050 -        going on with the finances.  I will see you tonight and we will
071051 -        jointly make the call.  If you do not hand over the finances
071052 -        tonight, then your demands may not be able to be met.
071054 -         ..
071055 -    5.  Krista
071056 -
071057 - **********************
071059 -  ..
071060 - Letter from Kevin to his sister, Krista...
071061 -
071062 -    1.  Subject: Re: Dad's Care - Proposal
071063 -        Sent: Fri, Nov 12, 2010 4:21:02 AM
071070 -         ..
071071 -    2.  If you read your own email (below), you made no mention
071072 -        previously of turning anything over tonight.  I am
071073 -        uncomfortable turning anything over to you without Dad's "Trust
071074 -        Attorney" being present.  Everything is in order with his
071075 -        finances and are up to date.  We can go over everything with
071076 -        his attorney.
071078 -         ..
071079 -    3.  It's good you've set up an appointment this coming Monday
071080 -        (November 15, 2010) with the attorney...  I will be there.
071081 -        I've also spoken with Dad and he is very aware of what's going
071082 -        on and he is extremely upset.  He wants to speak to Hultzen
071083 -        (his attorney) directly, on his own behalf about what he wants
071084 -        done with his care and his entire estate. I will call Hultzen
071085 -        tomorrow to confirm all of this.
071087 -         ..
071088 -    4.  You (holding Power-of'-Attorney) will still need to address my
071089 -        proposal (see Attachments above) on being fairly compensated in
071090 -        caring for Dad. Again, it is a totally separate issue...
071095 -         ..
071096 -    5.  PS.  I have been keeping a network of Dad's close friends up to
071097 -        date on this current correspondence.  They've all expressed how
071098 -        well he is doing now and have a real concern about the possible
071099 -        change that could occur with his care.  They've also encouraged
071100 -        me (on Dad's behalf) to run all our future correspondence
071101 -        through his attorney.
071102 -
071103 - **************************
071105 -  ..
071106 - Letter from Rob to Kevin with copy to
071107 -
071108 -    1.  Subject: RE: Ron's Care - Proposal
071109 -        Sent: Thursday, November 11, 2010 1:35 PM
071117 -         ..
071118 -    2.  Send it and let the chips fall where they will!
071120 -         ..
071121 -    3.  I would also get on the phone right away to everyone of your
071122 -        Dad's friends and bring them up to speed on the situation.
071123 -        Send them your proposal and explain the selfish resistance you
071124 -        are encountering from both Krista and Kurt.
071126 -         ..
071127 -    4.  Collectively, we can all put pressure on both of them to do
071128 -        what is in your parents best interests.  The trust attorney
071129 -        should also have advanced notice on this important issue.
071131 -         ..
071132 -    5.  I also believe that Ron is fundamentally aware of the loving
071133 -        care you are giving him and he can clearly state his preference
071134 -        to stay with you in the new housing arrangement.  He may not be
071135 -        "all there" but he can be brought into a meeting with the trust
071136 -        attorney to speak his mind.  He is not a vegetable.  He is a
071137 -        human being with feelings and he knows what is best for him
071138 -        right now.
071140 -         ..
071141 -    6.  Your siblings to not have his best interests at heart and I am
071142 -        sorry that either one of them have a say in this matter.
071144 -         ..
071145 -    7.  You have to trust Ron's ability to share his feelings and
071146 -        emotions in front of all concerned because it is still his
071147 -        money(estate) and he can make certain decisions on his own.  We
071148 -        all know how opinionated Ron can be but he is one of the best
071149 -        communicators I have ever known and he can still stand up for
071150 -        himself and should in this important matter.
071151 -
071164 -
071165 -
071166 - ****************************
071168 -  ..
071169 - Kevin's letter received today, also, attached the following "proposal"
071170 - sent to his sister, Krista...
071171 -
071172 -    1.  November 10, 2010
071177 -         ..
071178 -    2.  Back in July of this year, our plan was to place Dad at the
071179 -        Aegis Facility, in Aptos for long-term care.   Due to a problem
071180 -        with availability at the time (not to mention the $8,400-
071181 -        entrance fee), we needed an alternate plan in case things
071182 -        didn't work out. After talking with Krista about the
071183 -        possibility of Susan and I getting a house and living with him,
071184 -        we prayed about it and decided we would try to do it and take
071185 -        over caring for Dad on a full-time, 24 hour/7 day a week basis
071186 -        and become his sole "Caregivers" along with Mom's help for the
071187 -        overnight hours.
071188 -
071189 -            [...below submitted respnose to Kevin with copies to family
071190 -            member, and to Rob and Richard. ref SDS 0 EJ5X
071192 -         ..
071193 -    3.  It's now been three months since we've removed Dad (and Mom)
071194 -        from his Eagle Crest home and moved them into the new
071195 -        house/rental in Soquel.  A status report would be that Dad is
071196 -        doing wonderful.  All four of his doctors (Chinnakotla,
071197 -        Sawhney, Bhattacharya and Anane-Sefah) have all expressed "how
071198 -        much better he looks and how well he is doing" since the move.
071200 -         ..
071201 -    4.  Specifically, I met with Dr.  Sawhney, his cardiologist back in
071202 -        Sept. to get clearance for the hernia surgery that Dad's needed
071203 -        (since April) to rid him of that pain and to improve his
071204 -        quality of life.  I then met with Dr.  Anane-Sefah to set up
071205 -        and get Dad through the surgery process.  Afterwards his doctor
071206 -        (Anane-Sefah) said "he couldn't believe the amount of pain Dad
071207 -        must have been in".
071209 -         ..
071210 -    5.  I've also met with Dr.  Bhattacharya, his neurologist a few
071211 -        different times, not in crisis, but to really see why he is
071212 -        taking all the different meds he's on.
071214 -         ..
071215 -    6.  As of now, Dad is no longer taking any unnecessary, "mind or
071216 -        mood changing" drugs except for some Prozac.  No more Vicodin
071217 -        (pain), Depakote (mood) and Adivan or Zyprexa (rage) that had
071218 -        been needed in the past.  Dad has also not experienced a "rage"
071219 -        outburst since living here with us.  Dr.  Bhattacharya has
071220 -        specifically expressed, "that the love and care he seems to be
071221 -        getting has changed his overall demeanor and that he does not
071222 -        appear to be in the same agitated state that he had been
071223 -        previously".   You can talk to the people that know Dad and
071224 -        come by to see him on a regular basis, like Rick Anderson or
071225 -        Rob Rideout, and they all say how much better he looks and
071226 -        happy he seems.
071228 -         ..
071229 -    7.  Since recovering from his hernia surgery (last month), we have
071230 -        also put him on a daily walking program.  Every day he's on
071231 -        Susan's treadmill and we've now worked him up to 15-20 minutes
071232 -        at a time and he loves it!  The key benefit is (slowly)
071233 -        building back up his physical strength and stamina.  We can now
071234 -        take him out again for a meal, to church and or a football game
071235 -        without him being thoroughly exhausted just getting out of the
071236 -        car.
071238 -         ..
071239 -    8.  The only unfortunate thing is his "dementia" is just not
071240 -        getting better.  We even increased his Aricept dosage (after
071241 -        checking with his neurologist) but his cognitive ability is not
071242 -        improving.  It just isn't giving him the same benefit as it was
071243 -        earlier in the year.  So unfortunately he's become more
071244 -        incontinent again and is having more accidents now.  But the
071245 -        most important thing that he is much happier and more content,
071246 -        now that he's receiving lots of love and companionship (as
071247 -        opposed to feeling neglect).
071249 -         ..
071250 -    9.  Mom also seemed to be happier after the move.  I think she's
071251 -        benefitted because she has her own life again (although I know
071252 -        she really misses the grandkids).  But at 74, it's nice to see
071253 -        her go out and do some things for herself and Dad does still
071254 -        enjoy her company, plus we are able to keep her "needling him"
071255 -        to a minimum, so she doesn't set him off.
071257 -         ..
071258 -   10.  I have continued to help her with all her affairs (finances and
071259 -        bills) and to set her up with a long-term strategy (w/Section 8
071260 -        housing, assuming Dad's Social Security when he passes and a
071261 -        Savings Program).  Susan does all of the cooking (we all know
071262 -        Mom does not cook!) and all of the housecleaning too.  Mom does
071263 -        do her own laundry and some of Dad's, plus some dishwashing.
071265 -         ..
071266 -   11.  We have tried to help her with her exercise and nutrition too,
071267 -        except that she still does her secret eating in the middle of
071268 -        the night.  But she knows we will help her out if she wants it.
071269 -        The only thing we will not allow her do is to get Dad
071270 -        "agitated" or to play the "victim (woe-is-me) role" while
071271 -        living here with us.
071273 -         ..
071274 -   12.  The main issue is that Mom is not able to provide the help with
071275 -        Dad's care that we thought she could when we moved in here.  A
071276 -        critical part of our plan was to have her be able to cover the
071277 -        "night shift" with Dad.  Basically to get up with him in the
071278 -        middle of the night when he's up and doing his wandering or
071279 -        when he needs help in the bathroom, so we could get proper
071280 -        sleep.  I've asked her to keep her door open and be there for
071281 -        Dad, but she either can't or won't.
071283 -         ..
071284 -   13.  Because of this,  I am the one that gets up with Dad in the
071285 -        middle of the night to help him out.  She does help when we
071286 -        might get a break during the day for an hour or two (max).  But
071287 -        most often, either Susan or I are always here with Dad.  If we
071288 -        need to leave together, Dad has always been fed, changed and
071289 -        most always put down for a nap (and most of the time he is
071290 -        still asleep when we get back).
071292 -         ..
071293 -   14.  We have been away for a break only two nights in the last three
071294 -        months.  And at that, we've had all his meals prepared, meds
071295 -        set out and everything washed and cleaned before we left.
071297 -         ..
071298 -   15.  We do not feel it is being responsible to leave Mom with Dad
071299 -        for any more than an over night situation.  She doesn't fix him
071300 -        meals and she really can't toilet him or shower him either.
071301 -        She will change his diaper when she has to.  Personally, I
071302 -        think she is over helping him any more than she needs too.  And
071303 -        at 74, she is really unable to be a reliable "Caregiver" for
071304 -        him.
071306 -         ..
071307 -   16.  When I initially agreed to take on Dad's "Caregiver" role back
071308 -        in August, I figured that Susan and I could handle about 16
071309 -        hours a day, with Mom covering the overnight hours (from
071310 -        10pm-6am).  That has not been the way it's worked out because
071311 -        Mom's help is very limited.
071313 -         ..
071314 -   17.  The other point is I drastically have underestimated the toll
071315 -        it would take on myself (and Susan) in terms of our overall
071316 -        health.
071318 -         ..
071319 -   18.  Finally, when I breakdown what I/we are actually being paid for
071320 -        "24/7, round- the-clock" care it's even worse.  Even when you
071321 -        add in what we're being compensated for rent ($1,000- for one
071322 -        master bedroom) and then $2,000- in pay, it equals $3,000- a
071323 -        month.  If you break it down, it's only $100 a day or $4.16 an
071324 -        hour (for both of us) for the 24/7 care that we are providing
071325 -        for Dad...  When I started to look into what this type of
071326 -        "Live-In" care would cost Dad (or anyone else) if we weren't
071327 -        doing it.  It would be 2-3-4 times more expensive.  If you do
071328 -        some research, in CA it's somewhere between $180-$380 per day
071329 -        (plus providing a bedroom and all meals) for personal
071330 -        round-the-clock home health care.
071332 -         ..
071333 -   19.  On the following page are a few quotes from companies in our
071334 -        area that provide the type of services that Dad is now getting;
071335 -
071336 - *********************************
071338 -         ..
071339 -   20.  Victorian Home Care
071340 -        A Professional Health Care Company
071341 -        833 Cass St Monterey, CA  93940
071342 -        831 655 1035
071343 -
071344 -                 http://www.victorianhc.com
071346 -         ..
071347 -   21.  My name is Matthew Parcasio. I'm the Client Care Sales
071348 -        Coordinator for Victorian Home Care.  Thank you for your
071349 -        interest in our services.  Per your conversation with our
071350 -        Staffing Coordinator Veronica, I've attached an inquiry packet
071351 -        for your review.  We have been providing in home care in
071352 -        Monterey and Santa Cruz counties for nearly 30 years.  We pride
071353 -        ourselves on providing excellent care.  Care, compassion,
071354 -        integrity, and exceptional customer service are our guiding
071355 -        principles and what has built our reputation.
071357 -         ..
071358 -   22.  For these reasons, I believe we can assist your father with his
071359 -        home care needs.  Thank you for your attention to this matter
071360 -        and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
071362 -         ..
071363 -   23.  Here are our current rates for service for 2010.
071364 -
071365 -        1.  Weekday Premium Hours (2-3.................... $30.00/hr  Monterey and Santa Cruz Co
071366 -        2.  Weekday Regular Hours ........................ $23.00/hr  Monterey and Santa Cruz Co
071367 -        3.  Weekend Regular Hours ........................ $25.25/hr  Monterey and Santa Cruz Co
071368 -        4.  Sleepover (night shift)*..................$194.00/12 hrs  Santa Cruz County Only
071369 -        5.  Live In (Depending on availability)*......$380.00/day     Monterey and Santa Cruz Co
071371 -         ..
071372 -   24.  America's Choice in Homecare
071373 -        Visiting Angels
071374 -        Living Assistance Services
071375 -        1658 Soquel Drive, Suite B
071376 -        Santa Cruz, CA  95065
071378 -         ..
071379 -   25.  Contact:  Cindy Saunders/Sales
071380 -        831 430 0616
071381 -
071382 -                 http://www.visitingangels.com
071383 -
071384 -        1.  Regular Hourly Rate........................... $23.50/hr  Santa Cruz area
071385 -        2.  Sleepover (overnight)*....................$198.00/12 hrs  Santa Cruz area
071386 -        3.  Live In (24/hr/Round-the-Clock)*..........$340.00/day     Santa Cruz area
071388 -         ..
071389 -   26.  * Their rates also state that; "for all Live-In Caregivers a
071390 -        private Bedroom (to sleep) and all their meals are to be
071391 -        provided by the Client".   In general, a minimum of two (2)
071392 -        caregivers are needed to handle 24-hour round-the-clock live-in
071393 -        care.  They will work in alternating 12 hour shifts, with a
071394 -        3-hour break (mandated) for time off during the day.  They
071395 -        typically work 4 days on, 4 days off (or a maximum of 5 days
071396 -        straight then off 2 days for the weekend).
071397 -
071398 - *********************************
071400 -         ..
071401 -   27.  These are two other options available for Dad if he weren't
071402 -        able to afford "Home Health Care".   It is far inferior to the
071403 -        one-on-one care and companionship that he'd receive in his own
071404 -        home.  But it is less expensive than private home care.  I
071405 -        believe you're familiar with these places too.  I'd encourage
071406 -        you to call and confirm any of the information I have listed
071407 -        above and below.
071408 -
071409 - ********************************
071411 -         ..
071412 -   28.  Pacific Coast Manor
071413 -        1935 Wharf Road, Capitola, CA 95010
071414 -        831 476-0770
071415 -        Contact: Rochelle Nations
071416 -        Phone: 831 566-2015
071417 -
071418 -        1.  Three (3) Male Persons/Room Shared......... $237/day + meds  ($7,110 per month)
071419 -        2.  Two (2) Male Persons/Room Shared........... $247/day + meds  ($7,410 per month)
071420 -
071421 -   29.  *  Daytime Staff to Patient Ratio is 8:1 / Nighttime Staff is about 20:1
071422 -        ** Waiting list is currently 6-12 months
071423 -
071424 -                 http://www.covenantcare.com/Pages/PacificCoast/PacificC_Home.htm
071425 -
071426 - ***************************
071428 -         ..
071429 -   30.  Aegis of Aptos - Assisted Living
071430 -        125 Heather Terrace
071431 -        Aptos, CA  95003
071432 -        Contact:  Michelle Holland
071433 -        831 684 2700
071434 -
071435 -        1.  Private Studio Apartment................. $4,200/month + $3,000 added care (approx)
071436 -        2.  Private 1-bedroom Apartment.............. $4,500/month + $3,000 added care (approx)
071437 -        3.  Entrance Fee (one time).................. $8,400
071438 -
071439 -   31.  *  Private Rooms may or may not be available.
071440 -
071441 -   32.  ** He may not qualify for "Assisted Living" in his current
071442 -        condition and need to be placed in the "Memory Care" unit for
071443 -        Dementia patients.
071444 -
071445 -                 http://www.aegisliving.com/assisted_living/Aptos_CA/zip_95003/aegis_living/1644
071446 -
071447 - *************************
071449 -         ..
071450 -   33.  Without question, the biggest benefit that Dad receives in his
071451 -        current situation is the 2:1 ratio of loving care and
071452 -        companionship that we can give him because we really
071453 -        understands what makes him happy.  He knows how much we
071454 -        sincerely love and care about him (and thanks us every day).  I
071455 -        have listed below the daily duties/services that we currently
071456 -        provide for Dad:
071458 -             ..
071459 -        1.  Toileting (due to incontinence) and diaper changing  *6-8 times a day/night
071460 -        2.  Daily Bathing (or assisting him with showering) and Personal Care (haircuts)
071461 -        3.  Daily Grooming (brushing teeth, combing hair, shaving, trimming nails, etc.)
071462 -        4.  Cooking/preparing three (3) nutritious meals per day, plus healthy snacks
071463 -        5.  Daily Exercise program (on treadmill) and walks into Soquel village
071464 -        6.  Daily Medications prepared and administered (morning and evening)
071465 -        7.  Grocery shopping and other household errands
071466 -        8.  Daily light housekeeping and cleaning (dishes, trash, vacuuming, etc.)
071467 -        9.  Daily laundry and changing his linens (cleaning the bathroom floors)
071468 -       10.  Weekly cleaning and maintenance of the house (thoroughly sanitizing bathrooms)
071469 -       11.  Monthly "deep" cleaning of house (carpet shampooing, mopping floors)
071470 -       12.  Ordering and picking-up of all his prescriptions
071471 -       13.  Scheduling all his Dr. Appointments and Hospital visits
071472 -       14.  Transporting him to Dr. appointments and surgeries
071473 -       15.  Contacting his friends to come by and visit him at home
071474 -       16.  Taking him for meals and socializing with friends
071475 -       17.  Taking him out to a game or other events that he enjoys.
071476 -       18.  Sitting with him and listening to him (so he knows he's heard)
071478 -         ..
071479 -   34.  In the end, this is not a 40-60-80 hour work week.  It is a
071480 -        24-hour/7 day a week, round-the-clock, extremely consuming job.
071482 -         ..
071483 -   35.  Giving this high quality care to Dad and being responsible for
071484 -        all of his other affairs has taken a high emotional toll on
071485 -        both of us.  I've also continued, even after we moved in to
071486 -        become his fulltime Caregivers, to handle all of his financial
071487 -        affairs (pay the bills, organize tax payments, help out with
071488 -        Eagle Crest repairs) without any additional pay.
071490 -         ..
071491 -   36.  We are not compensated for any time off, sick and/or vacation
071492 -        pay, nor do we receive any health care benefits.  Currently,
071493 -        all of these are paid out-of-pocket.  We do get a gas allowance
071494 -        (gas card) for transporting him around.  But in the present
071495 -        situation, if we desire to take any time off, we are expected
071496 -        to pay to bring in another caregiver to replace us.
071498 -         ..
071499 -   37.  Therefore we're requesting, as of November 2010, that we
071500 -        receive the following compensation;
071501 -
071502 -            Daily Rate of $200 (for Home Care)............. $6,000 per month
071503 -            Less Rent (of the Bedroom)..................... $1,000 per month (deducted)
071504 -            Monthly Pay Rate............................... $5,000 per month
071506 -         ..
071507 -   38.  I believe this is very than fair to Dad in terms of pay for the
071508 -        services rendered and it is much less expensive than any other
071509 -        similar option.  Dad has more than adequate resources to pay
071510 -        for the quality care he deserves (between his home value and
071511 -        his annuity he has well over $800,000-).
071512 -
071513 -            [...below submitted respnose to Kevin with copies to family
071514 -            member, and to Rob and Richard. ref SDS 0 EJ5X
071516 -             ..
071517 -            [On 101119 1047 letter to Rob and Richard asks if this
071518 -            matter has been settled, and notes Ron and Donna must be
071519 -            getting $2K - $3K or more per month from Social Security,
071520 -            so getting additional $2K - $3K to reach $5K Kevin requests
071521 -            seems not too difficult for the trust account. ref SDS 2
071522 -            HO8P
071524 -         ..
071525 -   39.  In his own words, he tells me every night how much he loves and
071526 -        appreciates my care and has me promise that I'll always be here
071527 -        to take care of him.
071529 -         ..
071530 -   40.  If you (holding the Power-of-Attorney) do not find this
071531 -        proposal acceptable. then you should consider this our "30-Day
071532 -        Notice" to end our Caregiving for Dad.  We will vacate the
071533 -        house with all of our belongings no later than thirty days from
071534 -        today, Dec. 10, 2010.  I will no longer assume any
071535 -        responsibility for Dad (or Mom) and any of their affairs.  You
071536 -        will need to make all future arrangements for Dad and his care.
071537 -        You will also need to explain your decision to both Dad and Mom
071538 -        (in person), why you are no longer willing to continue the care
071539 -        that he himself desires in the current living situation.
071541 -         ..
071542 -   41.  Please respond back with your decision by Friday, Nov. 12th.
071543 -
071551 -
071552 -
071554 -  ..
0716 -
0717 -
0718 - 1023
0719 -
071901 - Sent followng reply to Kevin's letter, with copy to others including
071902 - Krista...
071904 -         ..
071905 -    1.  Subject: Re: Ron's Care - Proposal
071906 -        Date: Sun, 14 Nov 2010 10:23:34 -0800
071916 -
071917 -        ...[responding to Kevin's email on 101112, received today, per
071918 -        above, ref SDS 0 RM5I, transmitting related correspondence on
071919 -        arrangements for Ron and Donna's care, and including a proposal
071920 -        Kevin submitted to his sister, Krista, dated 101110, also,
071921 -        received today. ref SDS 0 986J...]
071923 -         ..
071924 -    3.  Very glad that Ron is doing well, ref SDS 0 JZ4V, though it is
071925 -        painful to hear dementia is advancing. ref SDS 0 4U9Q
071926 -        Doubtless this brings added burdens of care.  Ron is fortunate
071927 -        to have the love and devotion of his family for support at this
071928 -        difficult time. ref SDS 0 J241
071929 -
071930 -            [On 101119 1047 letter to Rob and Richard asks if this
071931 -            matter has been settled, and notes Ron and Donna must be
071932 -            getting $2K - $3K or more per month from Social Security,
071933 -            so getting additional $2K - $3K to reach $5K Kevin requests
071934 -            seems not too difficult for the trust account. ref SDS 2
071935 -            HO8P
071937 -         ..
071938 -    4.  Rob and I enjoyed seeing everyone on the visit to your place in
071939 -        Santa Cruz at the end of August. [...reported on 100826 1000.
071940 -        ref SDS 1 RM5I...]
071942 -         ..
071943 -    5.  As well, very pleased that the operation was successful to
071944 -        correct the hernia your dad suffered. ref SDS 0 4U5I and,
071945 -        ref SDS 0 JZ69  My Uncle Jim, who died last year at age of 92,
071946 -        was fond of joking that "Getting old is not for sissies!"  Not
071947 -        sure, but I think he borrowed that from Betty Davis who made
071948 -        the remark on the Johnny Carson show in the mid-80s.  So, every
071949 -        family struggles with life-ending situations.  I know that
071950 -        Richard, Rob, and all of Ron and Donna's many friends join me
071951 -        in thankful prayer that they have good care. ref SDS 0 J241
071953 -         ..
071954 -    6.  Since your dad vested Krista with responsibility for trust
071955 -        executor, my heart goes out to her.  This is not an easy job.
071956 -        Krista's letter on 101111 requests documentation of expenses,
071957 -        which nominally sounds reasonable as a step toward resolving
071958 -        the "proposal" on monthly care. ref SDS 0 CO6M and, ref SDS 0
071959 -        SX8J  I further concur with Rob's suggestion for a family
071960 -        meeting to get Ron's input, perhaps with the family attorney
071961 -        present. ref SDS 0 988W  Ultimately, this comes down to what is
071962 -        needed and what the trust can afford.  Striking that balance
071963 -        was entrusted to Krista, but must be exercised based on best
071964 -        evidence.  She has acted responsibly requesting documentation
071965 -        of expenses.
071967 -         ..
071968 -    7.  At the same time, caring for Ron and Donna cannot be reduced
071969 -        to simply arithmetic.  Just hoping everyone can get past this.
071970 -        Richard and I are looking forward to another visit soon.
071971 -
071972 -            [On 101119 1047 letter to Rob and Richard asks if this
071973 -            matter has been settled, and notes Ron and Donna must be
071974 -            getting $2K - $3K or more per month from Social Security,
071975 -            so getting additional $2K - $3K to reach $5K Kevin requests
071976 -            seems not too difficult for the trust account. ref SDS 2
071977 -            HO8P
071979 -         ..
071980 -    8.  My best to all,
071981 -
071987 -
071988 -
071989 -
071990 -
071991 -
071992 -
071993 -
071994 -
071995 -
0720 -