CONTACTS 

SUBJECTS
Withhold Emotional Disappointment Web Sites on Possible Cancer Treat

0803 -
0803 -    ..
0804 - Summary/Objective
0805 -
080501 - Follow up ref SDS 3 0000.
080502 -
080503 - Millie wants a letter to Ron Sr answering two letters he has sent in
080504 - the past month, where Ron feels Millie is neglecting her health by not
080505 - spending time looking through web sites Ron has submitted, because he
080506 - found information which he feels might be helpful.
080508 -  ..
080509 - In one letter, Ron mentions being upset, and describing a "withhold"
080510 - which signifies emotional disappointment that his input is being
080511 - neglected.  In his most recent letter, Ron wanted Millie to check out
080512 - a web site on a Chinese doctor who was suggested by one of his Bridge
080513 - partners. ref SDS 0 F88K  Millie has told Ron that she cannot spend
080514 - all of her time on the Internet, and wants to underscore this in a
080515 - constructive way to hopefully not have to deal with the matter when
080516 - they meet for lunch scheduled on 050719.
080518 -  ..
080519 - Previously, Ron sent a letter to Millie with a copy to me on 050422
080520 - that provided research on the Internet showing diet can address
080521 - cancer. ref SDS 2 Q68N  There were also ideas on using meditation for
080522 - treating cancer. ref SDS 2 EU5F
080529 -  ..
080530 - Millie submitted following letter to Ron and her children...
080531 -
080532 -    1.  Subject: Cancer Research, Withhold, Family
080533 -        Date: Sun, 10 Jul 2005 13:16:04 -0700 (PDT)
080542 -         ..
080543 -    3.  Thanks for your letter on July 2nd discussing cancer research,
080544 -        (listed below, ref SDS 0 F88K), and for concerns a week or so
080545 -        ago when you mentioned a "withhold" (your anger and
080546 -        disappointment) related to me not checking out web sites on
080547 -        cancer, which you had previously suggested. [...Ron explained
080548 -        "last withhold" during a meeting on 921217 1100. ref SDS 1
080549 -        9070...]
080550 -
080551 -            [On 050712 Ron requests additional research by Rod.
080552 -            ref SDS 4 PP6Y
080554 -             ..
080555 -            [On 050712 Millie asked for additional research along the
080556 -            lines Ron recommends. ref SDS 4 4P62
080558 -         ..
080559 -    4.  I appreciate very much your warm thoughts, and research on my
080560 -        behalf.  This adds measurably to input from other family and
080561 -        friends, who send web sites on recovering from cancer.  I
080562 -        sometimes feel all my time is spent on the Internet.
080564 -         ..
080565 -    5.  It would be great to open a document on the web to the precise
080566 -        location that addresses my condition.  Maybe in 10 years or so
080567 -        that will happen, but for now, it's easy to spend hours, even
080568 -        days searching web sites and not finding anything relevant, or
080569 -        finding a paragraph here and there that applies to my specific
080570 -        problem.  Spending so much time focusing on my disease gets
080571 -        depressing, and changing strategy is stressful.
080572 -
080573 -    6.  "Fight City Hall" or "go with the program"?
080575 -         ..
080576 -    7.  Occasionally, I push for change, when there is strong evidence
080577 -        that better results are likely to occur.  Sometimes doctors
080578 -        push back because they feel strongly the other way.  It's a
080579 -        judgement call that induces stress, which can increase cancer.
080581 -         ..
080582 -    8.  I don't feel it is right to ask people, who are trying to help,
080583 -        to take the additional step of extracting out what they feel
080584 -        might apply to me on one web site or another, and explain how
080585 -        it treats my rare form of cancer.  For one thing, nobody has
080586 -        time to review my medical history and analyse what might be
080587 -        done to replace or supplement prescribed remedies, and without
080588 -        damaging something else.  Its an uphill fight to get paid
080589 -        professionals to study patient profile in preparing a treatment
080590 -        plan, because my medical history is getting bigger and more
080591 -        complex.  Since wading through case history is a lot of hard
080592 -        work, I can't expect family and friends to take that on.
080594 -         ..
080595 -    9.  Don't remember if we discussed this, but UCSF and Stanford both
080596 -        submitted 2nd opinions on me.  They made independent
080597 -        examinations and extensive review of patient history.  Some of
080598 -        their ideas have been implemented. (Let me know if you would
080599 -        like to see their analysis)  It boggles the mind to see the
080600 -        complexity and evolution of my illness over many years.  I
080601 -        thought of you when Doctor Guardino at Stanford said that
080602 -        communication, diet, exercise, and keeping a positive mind are
080603 -        a big part of recovery; the doctor recommended following a
080604 -        normal life style as much as possible, including work.  I am
080605 -        trying my best to do that by balancing time for research on the
080606 -        Internet to study my illness, with time for living my life.
080608 -         ..
080609 -   10.  Recently, my recovery took a turn for the better following a
080610 -        new treatment.  On Friday, I got a test report showing
080611 -        significant reduction in cancer cells.  Based on past history
080612 -        this may change again, but for now I feel pretty good, in fact
080613 -        blessed for this time with my family and friends.  Now that I'm
080614 -        stronger, we have been doing more things.  A few weeks ago, we
080615 -        went to a Giants baseball game, and walked about a mile from
080616 -        BART to the ballpark, and then back after the game.  Later, I
080617 -        felt like Barry Bonds hitting a record breaking home run, when
080618 -        we hiked around Lafayette reservoir in record time for me.  Of
080619 -        course I was on steriods, as part of my treatment, so my record
080620 -        may not stand.
080622 -         ..
080623 -   11.  We visited Ron Jr, Kim and the girls last Monday on the 4th,
080624 -        and got caught up with all their goings on.  Amy will be a
080625 -        senior in high school next year.  She is becoming a striking
080626 -        young woman with beautiful, long hair.  Ron and Kim are helping
080627 -        Amy think about her future, and where to go to college.  I am
080628 -        pleased to see how well Amy participates in conversation, with
080629 -        confidence and knowledge of the world, just like her big
080630 -        sister.
080632 -         ..
080633 -   12.  Steph is home from college for the summer.  She again got
080634 -        straight A's, but only took two classes.  I guess this means
080635 -        she concentrates well, rather than taking it easy with a
080636 -        minimal course load.  As I recall she has declared two (2)
080637 -        majors, psychology and biology, and talked about taking five
080638 -        (5) years to complete undergraduate work.  Stephanie came down
080639 -        with mono, and was very ill for a few weeks.  She has mostly
080640 -        recovered, and looked well, when we were there on the 4th.
080641 -        Even talked about doing some sand volleyball this summer.  You
080642 -        may know that Stephanie quit the volleyball team at school in a
080643 -        spat with the coach over the position he wanted her to play.
080644 -        Sounds like she got dad's athleticisim, mom's intelligence, and
080645 -        grandfather's strong will in the lottery of genetic life.
080647 -         ..
080648 -   13.  Steph talked about studying in Grenoble as an exchange student
080649 -        next year, beginning in August.  I "threatened" to drop by for
080650 -        a visit, and take advantage of her skill with French as an
080651 -        interpreter making my next visit to France a lot better than
080652 -        when Lucille and I were there in 1989.  We'll see if that works
080653 -        out based on my health and things.
080655 -         ..
080656 -   14.  You may not have heard that Pam was in Arizona this past week
080657 -        for her annual spa adventure.  I was scheduled to go along, but
080658 -        things were not looking good in March, so I had to cancel.  Now
080659 -        that I'm better, I am sorry about not going, and am looking
080660 -        forward to going next year with Pam.  There's lots of things to
080661 -        do, including exercise, hiking, crafts, reading, even chess, so
080662 -        this might be something you and Anne would enjoy, and fits the
080663 -        model of alternative/holistic cancer rememdies you recommend.
080664 -        ...[reported in Ron's letter listed below, ref SDS 0 F88K...]
080665 -        Keep it in mind.  In the meantime, Bill got tickets for a trip
080666 -        to Cancun.  While Pam was off exercising in Arizona, Bill took
080667 -        Nolan for a short vacation to Mexico.  He won the tickets
080668 -        selling insurance, so looks like things are going well in his
080669 -        new job.
080671 -         ..
080672 -   15.  We visited Steve and Lilly in Grass Valley.  Everything seems
080673 -        okay on that front though my impression is that Matthew has
080674 -        become a "work in progress." Now that he has a serious girl
080675 -        friend, his folks feel there is some leverage to motivate
080676 -        better efforts on school work.  He is taking summer classes to
080677 -        make up for failing English and Math.  Don't know what the girl
080678 -        friend is doing, but Lilly says Matt passed his summer English
080679 -        class, so the more the better.
080681 -         ..
080682 -   16.  Amanda looks great.  She will, also, be a senior when school
080683 -        starts in the fall.  Amanda has finally lost the baby fat that
080684 -        hung around for so long.  Amanda has always been a beauty, and
080685 -        has grown into quite a socialite, with a constant stream of
080686 -        friends and events.  She got her driver's license (Amy too!),
080687 -        and she has a job to make some spending money.  Most
080688 -        importantly, Lilly says Amanda is getting good grades, so she
080689 -        is not neglecting her studies.  Incidentally, I've had a chance
080690 -        to see Steve and Lilly deal with a few family problems.  You
080691 -        can be very proud of how your youngest son has become a
080692 -        responsible and caring father.
080694 -         ..
080695 -   17.  Glad to see you are keeping busy with your trip to Oregon, and
080696 -        visiting wineries with Anne on the way back.  Sounds fun.  I'm
080697 -        especially glad to hear that testing showed you do not have
080698 -        cancer.  That was quite a scare.  No doubt your positive
080699 -        attitude and healthy life-style make a big difference, as
080700 -        indicated in the research you have mentioned.
080702 -         ..
080703 -   18.  I've travelled a bit too. A month or so ago I took a train ride
080704 -        to visit Dorothy and Frank in Colorado.  The visit was great,
080705 -        and the flight back was a lot better than the train ride.
080706 -        Needless to say, I don't recommend taking the train.  Both the
080707 -        food and the scenery were lousy.  It's all flat and desolate
080708 -        after you leave Reno.
080710 -         ..
080711 -   19.  As we discussed, looking forward to lunch at Fuzzio's on
080712 -        Tuesday, the 19th, at 11:30.
080714 -         ..
080715 -   20.  See you then.
080717 -         ..
080718 -   21.  Millie
080720 -         ..
080721 -   22.  PS.  Sorry for rambling on in such a long letter.  There wasn't
080722 -        enough time to write a short one.
080724 -         ..
080725 -   23.  PPS.  Hope you don't mind, but decided to share this with the
080726 -        kids to thank them for being there for me, and to say how proud
080727 -        and thankful I am to have raised such wonderful people.
080728 -
080729 -
080731 -  ..
080732 - Ron's letter recent letter to Millie dated 050702, and cited in
080733 - Millie's letter to Ron today, per above, ref SDS 0 0001, says...
080734 -
080735 -        Up early today. Couldn't sleep through for some reason.
080736 -        Thoughts about you.How are you doing?  Keeping your spirits up?
080737 -        Get any further at delving into the subject of "spontaneous
080738 -        remissions" that I sent you some references on?  Perhaps if
080739 -        your lower energy Kemo days are slowing you you might enlist
080740 -        Rod to pitch in on computer searching(?) Did you check out that
080741 -        Chinese Dr. that my bridge friend/neighbor sent you?  I
080742 -        understand she's relatively inexpensive and the herbal remedies
080743 -        she's prescribed for her are too.
080745 -         ..
080746 -        Anyway I'm back from a jaunt into Oregon to help Anne drive
080747 -        back from a visit she took to see her old neighbor from across
080748 -        the street - Cis Daniels.
080750 -         ..
080751 -        Managed to visit a number of wineries in the Willamette and
080752 -        Alexander Valleys driving back.  Should you feel up to having
080753 -        lunch or would care to grab a drink downtown let me know.
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