Mr. R. Max Wideman

2216 West 21st Avenue

Vancouver, BC  V6L 1J5

Canada

max_wideman@sfu.ca





Date: Mon, 13 Jul 1998 12:08:46 -0700


Mr. Rod Welch
The Welch Company
440 Davis Court #1602
San Francisco, CA  94111 2496
rowelch@ibm.net

Subject:  Comm Metrics Web Page

Dear Rod,


Thanks for the call. I had brazenly assumed that the material was the same
as I had read previously. I have read it over again and now think it reads
well.
 



I still think you could add a summary at the end that simply states the key                                                                                                                                                                                         8
points you want to get across - what you want the reader to do or infer from
the dissertation.
 



Also, you might add much the same thing as an 'Abstract' or Executive Summary'                                                                                                                                                                          8
at the beginning like a formal paper (though I would not use either of those
headings.) Maybe something like -


In the following article, Rod Welch of The Welch Company describes the
dilemma faced by today's managers and their lack of time to properly assess
the available information that will enable them to make the right
decisions. He goes on to show how... (etc.)

You need a 'grabber' to make people want to read the whole article.
 



You might want to run a spell checker on the text and double check the
wording of the links in the initial list of 15 compared to what you now
have in the body of the text.


Sincerely,






M.


Vancouver, Canada

max_wideman@sfu.ca

Voice & FAX: 604-736-7025


If you think a professional is expensive, try using an amateur! 7/6