- "I'm no angel, but I've flapped my wings quite a bit"
- Mae West (Contributed by Mette Glargaard)
- "All discarded lovers should have another chance - with someone else!"
- Mae West (Contributed by Mette Glargaard)
- "If I look a little tired, it's because a woman knocked on my door for three hours last night - but I didn't let her out!"
- Dean Martin (Contributed by Mette Glargaard)
- "A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men"
- Ben Franklin
- "Too much of a good thing is wonderful"
- Lucy Liveitup
- "The best way to make a small fortune is to start with a large
one"
- Spencer Spenditnow
- "Never do today what you can put off until tomorrow"
- Garry Gogetter
- "The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch
up"
- Gordon Goldbricker
- "Early to bed and early to rise ruins a lot of good times"
- Henry Highliver
- "I'm too busy to get organized"
- Clara Clutter
- "Promise him anything - but never put it in writing"
- Fanny Fidelity
- "I'm so far behind I think I'm first"
- I.C.Dimly
- "I may have my faults, but being wrong isn't one of them"
- Amy Alwaysright
- "I'm not overweight, I'm undertall"
- Polly Plump
- "Too soon old, too late smart"
- Larry Latebloomer
- "Never marry for money; it's cheaper to borrow it"
- Corry Calculator
- "If all else fails, lower your standards"
- Homer Highprinciple
- "The best thing for dinner is a reservation"
- Connie Cookless
- "When sweetness and tears fail, bitch"
- Nelda Nailhim
- "You know you're in trouble when you look like the picture
on your drivers' license"
- Orville Overthehill
- "Age is a high price to pay for maturity"
- Oliver Oldfool
- "God must love calories; he made so many of them"
- Wilma Willpower
- "Good judgment comes from experience; experience comes from
bad judgment"
- Benny Beenthere
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